Friday, January 20, 2006

Winter Classes for Men

WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN
at The Floyds Knobs, INN, LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, Jan. 23, 2006. NEW CLASSES WILL BEGIN ON Jan. 30, 2006
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor --- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion. Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 12
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 13
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

16 Comments:

Blogger Miki said...

These were too funny rachel, I may borrow them and send them to my friends! They will get a kick out of them.

4:09 PM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

I'm printing this out at this very moment. Gonna give it to my husband. It's too late to change him, but I'm showing him the class list anyway.

4:14 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

Oh no!! I read this when my husband was looking over my shoulder. He told me the classes I need to go to..... I have to go to more than him! YIKES!!!!

Have a great weekend!

6:05 PM  
Blogger happyandblue2 said...

It's funny. But personally I don't need any of those classes. Well maybe just a few..

6:45 PM  
Blogger Jim said...

These don't seem like a very good deal to me. Can women attend the ones of these that fit women's problems?
..

6:54 PM  
Anonymous Margaret said...

Those are great! "...to the survivors." LOL!

Hey, Rachel--I tagged you!

7:35 PM  
Blogger DayByDay4-2Day said...

It's still funy no matter how many times I read it.

4:23 AM  
Blogger Cliff Morrow said...

Good stuff Rachel. I got part way thru this list and was thinking it didn't apply to me til I got 6 then pretty much everything was on target. Now, don't make me write one for women.

5:07 AM  
Blogger YoderMan said...

HAHA! SADLY, THOSE ARE ALL SO TRUE! Rachael you have inspired me to make a class list for woman, keep posted :) THE WAR IS ON!

7:34 AM  
Blogger Ralph's Homespun Headlines said...

Rachel
Pretty funny but pretty true at the same time. Sign me up for Classes 2,4,6,7,10, and 11.
Ralph

9:30 AM  
Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL, LOL..Very Very funny Rachel, and truly delightful, too...
WHERE did you ever find that?? Or, I should say, How clever of you to write this!!!

12:05 PM  
Blogger Mike ( ex scientia, veritas ) said...

Bwahahahahah!! That was great.

3:04 PM  
Blogger Triplet Dads said...

Rachel - sign me up for... ummmm.. all of 'em.

7:03 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Those are GREAT!
I don't think they give out many diplomas, since men have to survive the course in order to receive one.

11:40 AM  
Blogger StringMan said...

I'll have to make sure not to miss classes 9,10, and 11. I need those.

3:25 PM  
Blogger Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

Rachel, you have made my night. This post is priceless!!!! LOL
My husband has a gr8 sense of humor. I think I shall adapt these for a gift for him for Father's Day with the help of my daughters and add some comical artwork. Thanks!

10:12 PM  

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