Sunday, March 26, 2006

Trials of Life

This week has been.....well, I'm not sure how to describe it. The first part was good but the last part has been very trying. My husband's sister was here and then they left early Thursday morning. My husband had some new medication and I started the first dose on Wednesday night. Thursday night he was so confused and had me up most of the night. He got real upset with me. He thought he was in the garage and that I would do nothing to help him get out of there. Finally he got really loud and yelling at me and even tried a few swings at me. I got him up in the wheelchair and took him into the living room and then he realized that he was not in the garage. Then after a while he was ready to go back to bed, but he did not sleep. He did not sleep all day long. I was tired from lack of sleep and not feeling worth a hoot that day. Thankfully, Friday night he slept and so did I. I got to thinking that that new medication might be the cause for the major confusion so I didn't give him any after the first 2 doses. (He had them on Wed. night and Thurs. night). Last night started off good but then about 3:30 a.m. he was calling for me frantically. I went in and he thought there was a rat and a snake in battle in his room. He got scared when I started in there telling me to watch out for them. I talked to him and tried to reassure him and calm him down. Finally it was back up and into the living room. After he sat there a little while and I still explained things to him about there being no snakes or rats in our house, etc., and that it was probably the medication making him so confused he agreed to go back to bed. I left the lamp on and he went back to sleep.

It's so sad to see someone like that. I have worked with confused people before and it's so hard because to them it's all so real. They just think you're the one who is crazy because you can't see the things they see. The doctor wanted to start him on a different sleeping medication not long ago and I tried that and he got more confused than ever, so I went back to giving him what he had been taking before. I told the doctor that that one made him confused. This latest medication is to help him void better. He is doing fine without it and I'll just watch and see how things go. I can't handle all this major confusion stuff.

I feel so bad for him. It's so heartbreaking when he knows what is going on and he told me he's so sorry that he tried to hit me, and he reaches out that frail hand of his to touch my hand. I explained to him that I know that's not really him talking but just the confusion. But it's sad to see him like that. We never know what will happen to us as we get older. So many people have strokes and they are often devastating. Makes me realize that I need to take better care of my body and try to prevent anything like that happening. I know we can do everything right and they can still happen to us. Unfortunately, under all this stress it makes me just want to eat all the things I shouldn't and more of it.


Blogger Rurality said...

I remember when my grandmother used to get confused (she had a series of small strokes) - it's difficult trying to explain things.

Hope things get better and you can get some sleep!

7:39 PM  
Blogger Rhodent said...

Do take good care of yourself! My heart goes out to you. I remember my grandparents going through this. One summer I had the responsibility of looking after them. During that time they both had to be hospitalized. It was a tough summer for them and for me.

8:35 PM  
Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

How very difficult Rachel, and as you said, sad, too...One wonders about certain medications and hoe they get passed by the FDA...there are so very many medications that have trecherously horrible side effects, especially on older people...sometimes I feel doctprs are irresponsible in their writing of perscriptions without doing their homework with that PDR!

So sorry you have had such a difficult time recently. Hard on your dear husband and hard on you, too.

4:38 AM  
Blogger FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

I know how you feel. I think it is normal for people who are sick especially who had a stroke to be cranky. They're always mad not with you but at themselves. They get pissed off knowing they are helpless especially when it's a male.
anyway, I hope you easy down a little. Save some energy for yourself and take a good rest.

7:24 AM  
Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Rachel...I'm assuming that your husband had a stroke by the comments above.

Certain medications make some older people dillusional and they might work well on others...and it's best to discontinue the medication as you did and advise your MD so they can give him something different.

One thing that happened in our family was that we were told that grandma had 6 months at most to live....
A month or two later she got to the point where she gave up completely and decided that what was the use in taking all of her she refused to take anymore and was ready to die.

What happened instead was that without all the medications she got better...The doctor said that the combination of all the medications was what was killing her.

I know that doesn't have anything to do with your husband, but sometimes medications aren't always right for you...especially when they cause a new problem.

Take care of your own body because it's the only home you have.

About the Boyscout Pinewood Derby...It was held in the Somerset Mall and there was quite a turnout...The registration line was at least a 1 hour long wait and the crowd was HUGE...sometimes hard to see the race. It lasted for about 3 hours.

8:26 AM  
Blogger Sonia said...

Oh! Rachel, I am so sorry about your husband's illness. I can understand how you are feeling. Really it's too sad and too stressful... As you said, it's so heartbreaking and so painful see your husband like that. I agree with you when you said that we never know what will happen to us as we get older. I fear so much the unexpected events and I also know, like you do, that we can do everything right and the illness can still happen to us..... How we can be safe? Unfortunately we don’t!
I hope your husband's recovery goes quickly!
From my heart, many hugs to you, dear Rachel!

3:29 PM  
Blogger Leslie Shelor said...

The stress of dealing with this situation is rough; I've been right there. Take care of yourself as best you can!

5:25 AM  
Blogger Miki said...

Goodness! I hope things have gotten better! You were right to D/C the meds! OH MY! Make sure that the doc writes that your hubby had a bad reaction to that particular med, in his chart. That way no way will it be perscribed again. You are a great advocate and loving wife for your husband. I understand what it is like to be the caregiver, the one who gets the brunt of the anger, even though they don't mean it, they take it out on us! I am sincerely glad that there are times when you take TIME for YOU. It is necessary to be there for him, but more necessary to have yourself mentally and physically in the game of life. Keep taking time for you, and you will have better time for your hubby. If you don't you too will get "sick" hope that you have gotten rest as of this posting, sorry it is later than you needed, but I am here for you if you need me! You always stop by and leave me great comments, especially when I need them, you are a great person and I am greatful that you are here on earth for me to read your entries and know a little about you!

4:10 AM  

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