Monday, December 04, 2006

Owner's Manual

When you buy an item do you read the owner's manual before you attempt to use the item? I don't. Not usually. Just depends on the item of course. Here is an insert from an owner's manual. This must be a joke because surely it wasn't really put in one, but I thought it worth sharing.
*** *** ***
Congratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that wold give you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that you undoubtedly will destroy it via some bonehead consumer maneuver. Which is why we ask you to PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE, READ THIS OWNER'S MANUAL CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU UNPACK THE DEVICE.

You already unpacked it, didn't you? You unpacked it and plugged it in and turned it on and fiddled with the knobs, and now your child, the same child who once shoved a Polish sausage into your videocassette recorder and set it on "Fast Forward," this child is also fiddling with the knobs, right????

We might as well just break all these devices right at the factory before we ship them out, you know that?


Blogger Ralph's Homespun Headlines said...

Yeah - as much as I shouldn't admit this - I do read owners manuals. The biggest problem now is going through them. First you throw away the Spanish version, then the French version, then way at the bottom is the English version in 6 point font.
The other thought I had about this post is it was most likely written by a person who does write owners manuals and that is what they always wanted to say. Kind of like those phone calls where you say one thing but sure wish you could say another.
Good post

11:44 AM  
Blogger Sue said...

I have to admit, I usually only read them after I try to do something and can't make it work!
Then, as Ralph says, you go through three different languages and turn the book the other direction to find the English version in tiny font with no index to direct you to what you need to know..
Good post!!

12:05 PM  
Blogger Clarence said...

Yep! That's exactly what I do with all User manuals.

12:24 PM  
Blogger Mike ( ex scientia, veritas ) said...

Rachel, we are on the same page - or non-page. I don't read the manuals either. I find most gizmos and applications are very intuitive. Your post reminded me about the windshield shade that contained a disclaimer reminding the consumer that it should be removed BEFORE attempting to drive. Scary, huh? Funny post.

1:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've even got the appliance (Polish sausage and all) Damn thing broke as soon as I turned it on!!

3:27 PM  
Blogger Becky said...

I have to agree with the first commenter...I read them, but only after discarding 15 different versions of it! Did you find this insert? How crazy! I'm sure it's just the way someone really feels about it. Too funny! :)

3:32 PM  
Blogger Rurality said...

I ALWAYS read the manual. My husband NEVER does. ;)

4:43 PM  
Anonymous happy and blue 2 said...

LOL..That is so funny. And so true.
The first thing I do with new products is throw away the owners manual..

5:03 PM  
Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Well, it depends on the "device", But I find so many "owners manuals" have been written in a foreign country and translated for Americans...and most of the time they don't make a whole lot of sense! But if I get stuck, I try to find the reference in the manual...Well, you need a manual for that hopeless excercise! (lol)

11:59 PM  
Blogger Gattina said...

I never read a manual before I use the thing. It's only when I get blocked that I have a look. Mr. Gattino is horrified by this, he reads manuals for hours first.

I saw on Happy and Blue blog your comment about o "postdating" so that you can prepare your blog in advance. I always do it. I prepare my stuff for Monday for example on Friday, Saturday or Sunday whatever and then save it in the drafts. On Monday mornings I just click on "publish" and it's done. So you can organize yourself much better.
Look above "Draft" and "Publish"
there is written
"Post and Comment Options"if you click on there you can put whatever date or time you want.

3:38 AM  
Blogger PEA said...

I'm another one of those who tries to put it together first THEN read the instructions if I'm having problems! lol I think it would be hilarious if there really was a manuel written like the one you posted!! lol Another problem with these manuals, I've often seen where they're actually wrong! Hope you had a great day xox

2:36 PM  
Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

I read my owners manual first before I fiddle with ANYTHING...but I only read it once and I hardly ever refer back to it again, which is a big mistake. I really need to carry the owners manuals with me at all times of operation. Something usually goes wrong and I try & fiddle with it.

I love your post and that's really what they should all say, especially for men, who refuse to read them anyway.

4:44 PM  
Blogger Tammy said...

This message has to be for my Hubby!!!

3:29 AM  

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